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[Music]

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I'm going straight I am straight as an

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eror i PID the price and

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time I'm going straight I am along the

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straight and narrow and I don't think

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straight back to

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[Music]

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[Applause]

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Crime how you do Mr mcon

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vure come through would

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you real LLY yes well son Raymond had a

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few friends around you know sort of

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party like oh that's nice well not

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really six form Punk Society it was I

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thought being as hour I was on Parole it

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wasn't the sort of company I should mix

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with I'm not one to complain means I can

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hand over the Reigns that much earlier

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etc etc might pop around to the anchor

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for a quick one oh I wouldn't advis that

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not tonight son oh why well there's a

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load of Scotsman in there tonight

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they're down for some Union confab or

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something they causing trouble no no no

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no no they're uh they're very merried as

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a matter of fact the moment but you know

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you're Scotsman he can turn ugly in the

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twinkling of a spon can't he and it's at

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times like that they are seized with an

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insatiable desire to Pummel someone's

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head I'm Scott fer oh dear

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I at least my four bears were oh you had

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four did you one more than

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Goldilocks

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iig Goldilocks she had three bears you

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had four Bears

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yeah a joke never mind never

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mind yes I

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see well fetcher tonight marks your

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first week here yes sir I'd like to tell

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you I'm well pleased and I'd like to

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give you this oh that's very nice so

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what's it a pay packet oh have you never

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seen one before no my money usually goes

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straight into your bank or straight out

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of it you know what mean what does all

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this mean then oh the uh the top figure

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is gross and the bottom figure's net

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well what's happened in between

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then deductions National Insurance P ye

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etc etc I see that explains why most of

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the grosses slip through the net does it

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that's Ware State isn't it now you're on

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the right side of the law that's one of

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the things you'll have to get used to

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yeah among all the others

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Yeah question of adjustment pled I know

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what you're going through because I had

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to adapt myself when I came back from

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nasand did I mention that oh yes yes

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Malawi as it now is so yes Africa that's

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right that's right of course we uh we

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lived a very different lifestyle out

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there I was a farm manager in Africa

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enormous spread as far as the eye could

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see we grew tobacco and some coffee and

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a local crop called Boke the natives

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used the fiber to make rope or soup

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depending on their needs of the time

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very adaptable people yeah they must

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have been yeah couldn't do that with mik

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Tony could you Hil possibly yeah talking

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of adaptability sir I uh I court number

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23 sneaking out this morning oh yes he

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was checking out with two dozen wi coat

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hangers he'd bent them Square to fit his

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Rock

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sack that's the ticket you keep your

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eyes open I think I'll give your parole

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officer a tinkle and tell her I'm well

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pleased etc etc thank you sir oh I say

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you shouldn't leave this open really

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should you sir oh no of course not thank

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you feter incidentally I think you

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buying a better safe you know but

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they're not cheap yeah well better safe

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than

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sorry oh that's very witty fler oh thank

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you sir I prefer the one about

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Goldilocks myself

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really still we've got to do our best

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haven't we son not much to laugh at

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these days as a not since Mastermind

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finished

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[Applause]

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ohy

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Fletcher in

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it

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Fletcher Norman Stanley Crowther Thomas

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Clifford West End Central flying Squad

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now oh yes I heard the Sweeny was a bit

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pushed for

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personnel you won this nty lot of

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lit when did you come out two months ago

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where you been work work pull the other

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one I heard you hav't got another

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one what' you got in the bag now listen

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you got no cause to do that no cause

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what are you doing at 7:00 in the

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morning far from your own turf I told

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you I got a job around the hotel in sis

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Gardens yeah look here nothing in here

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Tom except half a tongue

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sandwich despicable this is they don't

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overpay you do they I have to accept all

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that don't I just as I have to accept

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all

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this oh we expect this is a hard crime

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right now is it must require a very

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sharp eye and constant vigilance in it

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it does now what do you attribute

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personally to your Rising crime to I

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mean is it uh is it unemployment the

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dissatisfaction of Youth frustrated by

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blocked

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opportunities or is it part of a deeper

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sickness one which permeates the entire

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Society look I haven't got time to stay

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here talking here or is it simply that

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you can't turn your back for a minute

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[Music]

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what I up your grease like with your

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Bridge that's the trouble with your job

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you spend all your time in transport

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cast picking up maners like that I've

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always had maners like that well I don't

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like it and I don't like the way you eat

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with your elbow on the table and

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everything I cook for you put into a

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sandwich you season on the Run well it's

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not nice soone got out of bed the wrong

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side this morning well I have a lot to

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do over the morning I have to get you

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off and then I have to my B something

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wheny comes in and then I have to get

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myself off to work and Raymond's no help

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Raymond get out that

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bathroom but we're married beloved

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you'll only have me to worry about well

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you won't come down to breakfast in your

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vest when we are married it was s of

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thed in that respect i' got a lot in

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common with your dad is I unfortunately

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yes I thought was going to embarrass me

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that is I mean when we live somewhere

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nice people are going to ask me how I

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met my husband and I'm going to have to

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say shared a sell with my

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F Well must be in the incidentally well

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on the subject have you mentioned it yet

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what why you know to di our

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intentions uh no I have had chance

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you've been putting it off since you

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come out of prison no I haven't I'm on

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the road all the time and he's working

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nights you're just PR barting no I'm not

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what do you want me to do go down on one

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day and ask for his daughter's hand in

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marriage even if he refuses to make

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natur whole difference well I do think

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you ought to make our intentions

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formally clear I will I will give us a

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kiss just like dve put off put off put

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off

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yeah oh I don't believe it how morning

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flet morning I like B it you was set

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yeah

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neck in first thing in the morning all

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the breakfast things are cleared away I

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couldn't be like that you know how many

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sausages who here angry got something to

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show you well I haven't got time ingred

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this is a matter of some port to me

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please look what do you think of

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that oh Dad it's your first ever pay

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packet well yeah congratulations Fletch

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yeah

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well can I have that six squid me then

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what six quid from the pub last week oh

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that's six quid all right yeah give me

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that what are you doing well you owe me

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a FIV from the previous week and I the

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insurance man I can pay him now cuz

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we're a month behind what insurance what

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your life insurance died cost a bit but

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it's worth it cuz if anything happened

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to you we'd be

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quiding is your six L listen why doesn't

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he pay board and lodgings he gets an

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allowance you know they all do well he

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gives me that allow

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oh well let's have it let's share it out

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no now ingred puts that into our Fund in

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uh into into our fund like what

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fund uh must be off what's he talking

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about what time is it time I was off

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don't do that to

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me morning son see morning F Bo what do

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you want to do listen to your rice

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crispy look what your dad's brought home

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Raymond

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oh good cuz you ow me money what po you

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brought the stylus on my stereo said

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you'd replace it it cost 350 oh you like

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vultures a lot of you a you give me that

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packet here what you left me with look

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at

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that 5 P oh good we need that for the

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gas

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[Music]

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meter hangs up

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good Mar please uh 20 uh 26 26 that's

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cly check in today did you sir yes right

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it's afternoon i' been Ling for a bit

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and I've changed oh yes lot of changes

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sir I know ex that when I come out uh

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when I come back sir when I come back

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out you know when I when I come when I

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come back to live out here

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like Arabs Arabs yes all over the place

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yes Oxford streets like a casbar house

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can't get down it for flying carpet

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so they're the ones with the money

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though oh indisputably sir and this

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country needs it yeah I wish a few would

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stay here instead of the doorchester

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though oh what you mean because of the

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uh I tell you a funny thing sir I got a

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friend he he lives in St John's Wood

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he's a window clean you see and he was

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cleaning this out of bladies window and

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uh and uh she said to him how much and

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he said 250 love so she gave him 250

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nier NE yeah straight up what' you give

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it to her back No but he left her the

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ladder you know what I

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mean you know where in the wrong game

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yes we are excuse me sir but uh are you

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originally from North London sir mwell

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Hill that way no oh and you seem

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familiar now that's all oh well nice

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talking de thank you sir thank

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you stirring Bean

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[Music]

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lady ever so lovely and

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clean no

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chest wonder

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what good evening sir

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Madam

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even the thing is I don't suppose you

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have any rooms don't you

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sir I said they probably wouldn't have

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darling I might have

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some I mean I'm I'm willing to take a

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chance you know as long as it's a 5 to

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one chance you know what I mean you see

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we've uh we've got this room we keep

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specially for this Arab potentate but uh

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I mean if he wants to fly in the middle

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of night in his private Concord well

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that is his hard luck isn't it

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thank you sir it's awfully decent of you

273
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:02,800
not at all we're in luck after all

274
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:04,560
darling would you like someone to help

275
00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:07,519
with a luggage sir uh there is no

276
00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:09,800
luggage oh oh that's just as well cuz we

277
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:11,519
got no one to help you with

278
00:12:11,519 --> 00:12:13,920
it's I'm afraid it's cash in advance

279
00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:15,680
this time of night oh yes of course yeah

280
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:17,800
that'll be £12 sir for the double

281
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,360
excluding this little bit of

282
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:22,920
V8 no you see the thing is my uh wife

283
00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:25,760
and I were been to an office due and uh

284
00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:28,199
we were driving back to reading Red Hill

285
00:12:28,199 --> 00:12:29,959
and the car broke down oh yeah just

286
00:12:29,959 --> 00:12:31,720
around the corner I think it's the big

287
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:34,160
end oh I hope so so

288
00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:37,440
yeah and I said to you didn't I darling

289
00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:39,079
I said why don't we stop over in town

290
00:12:39,079 --> 00:12:41,720
for the night and let the AA deal with

291
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,240
it in the morning yes yes well that's

292
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:44,880
the best thing is it well thank you very

293
00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:47,040
much Mr uh Smith thank

294
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,800
you well uh I'll say good night then

295
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,040
yeah good night oh would you like a call

296
00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:52,440
in the morning or shall we let nature

297
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,959
take his course I think we'll just let

298
00:12:54,959 --> 00:12:58,360
it it won't be darling I'm sorry sir the

299
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,639
lift is out of all I'm awfully sorry but

300
00:13:00,639 --> 00:13:03,639
it's only five flights

301
00:13:04,079 --> 00:13:08,160
up I to take the wind out of your

302
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:13,000
sales

303
00:13:14,820 --> 00:13:19,479
[Music]

304
00:13:23,959 --> 00:13:26,639
thaning what are you doing here I just

305
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:29,399
Dro by you know get a around with inry

306
00:13:29,399 --> 00:13:32,079
of you I just dropped by you in trouble

307
00:13:32,079 --> 00:13:33,720
are you you always think the worst you

308
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:37,079
do Fletch no I don't no just don't see

309
00:13:37,079 --> 00:13:38,560
much of you these days get a chance to

310
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:41,560
talk to you and uh what were you working

311
00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:45,079
nights and me days and well you AR me

312
00:13:45,079 --> 00:13:46,360
mate and I value that and I couldn't

313
00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:47,720
sleep tonight and I thought why not come

314
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:49,040
down and while away a few hours with me

315
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:51,199
old mate

316
00:13:51,199 --> 00:13:54,279
Fletch ingri pregnant is

317
00:13:54,279 --> 00:13:56,920
she no she's not yes she is I've told

318
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:58,320
her about this I've tried to warn it she

319
00:13:58,320 --> 00:13:59,920
won't listen to me you shut up a minute

320
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:01,320
flet she's not pregnant you think we're

321
00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:02,720
da or something well you come here for

322
00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:03,720
something you haven't just stopped by

323
00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:05,240
have you well I have come around here

324
00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:06,600
about ingred actually she wanted me to

325
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:08,279
tell you something that I should have

326
00:14:08,279 --> 00:14:10,519
told you way back

327
00:14:10,519 --> 00:14:13,639
yes well um to come straight to the

328
00:14:13,639 --> 00:14:17,120
point yeah good evening oh good evening

329
00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:19,680
Madam I haven't had the pleasure before

330
00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:22,560
have I oh haven't you madam oh never

331
00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:25,000
mind my name is uh Fletcher and you

332
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,560
would be Mrs applebe room two room two

333
00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:31,240
Madam sir I wonder could you undo this

334
00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:33,839
for me young

335
00:14:35,399 --> 00:14:39,720
man thank you I'm going to have to give

336
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:41,639
these to you oh are you madam why is

337
00:14:41,639 --> 00:14:45,600
that to put in your safe oh see oh yes

338
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:48,279
yes thank you it's my custom I rest

339
00:14:48,279 --> 00:14:50,120
easier in my mind oh certainly man I'll

340
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:53,199
just get you a receipt shall be a

341
00:14:53,199 --> 00:14:57,199
moment do you work here no mom I've got

342
00:14:57,199 --> 00:15:00,440
a son your age he he's in the theater oh

343
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:04,240
that's nice he's an actor very good too

344
00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:05,720
only they don't seem to give him very

345
00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:07,000
big

346
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:10,399
Parts oh well one day perhaps who knows

347
00:15:10,399 --> 00:15:12,560
here we are Madam one receipt coming up

348
00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:14,399
I should like some tea in the morning at

349
00:15:14,399 --> 00:15:16,920
9:30 and a Daily Telegraph certainly

350
00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:17,839
I'll just make a note of that there's

351
00:15:17,839 --> 00:15:20,959
your receipt for your jewelry 9:30 Daily

352
00:15:20,959 --> 00:15:23,000
Telegraph thank you madam good night

353
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:27,680
then good night Madam thank you

354
00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:31,360
what a nice old

355
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:34,800
soul now where was I oh yeah yeah ingred

356
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:36,240
thought it was about time I told you

357
00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:41,279
that got it what I've just Tweed can I

358
00:15:41,279 --> 00:15:43,040
oh well I'll be off then flet no no no

359
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:45,360
no no nice old soul you say butter

360
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:46,240
wouldn't

361
00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:49,920
melt she is a bleeding con artist who

362
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:52,800
the old dear yeah oh come on fet that's

363
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:54,199
typically you you always think the worst

364
00:15:54,199 --> 00:15:55,920
of people no no no it's all falling into

365
00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:57,720
place now just before you came in here a

366
00:15:57,720 --> 00:15:59,880
bloke came in he's in room 6 I thought I

367
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:01,800
knew his face it's all falling into

368
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:04,639
place now Wellings his name is Wellings

369
00:16:04,639 --> 00:16:08,480
AKA Foster AKA Stansfield AA AKA AKA

370
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:11,360
also known as I was in I was in MA to

371
00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:13,079
knit with him yeah for a long time

372
00:16:13,079 --> 00:16:14,680
that's worm Wellings that's his name I

373
00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:16,000
don't see the connection between him and

374
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,480
the nice old lady all right I'll tell

375
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:19,279
you now i' much rather talk about ingred

376
00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:21,560
listen never mind ingred but I'm come

377
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:23,839
around

378
00:16:24,079 --> 00:16:27,000
here well used to work this Con you see

379
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,440
with a lady who some said was his old

380
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:29,839
mother they used to work used to work

381
00:16:29,839 --> 00:16:31,880
around the South Coast Bournemouth T

382
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:33,600
that sort of thing always a small hotel

383
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:35,160
always with a safe like this one an easy

384
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:36,639
one see what was the com well the com

385
00:16:36,639 --> 00:16:38,399
was they they would ensure some jewelry

386
00:16:38,399 --> 00:16:41,199
they declare a value of say uh £10,000

387
00:16:41,199 --> 00:16:42,600
right and they would book into this

388
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,120
hotel separately no connection

389
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:45,880
whatsoever different days sometimes you

390
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,839
see then the old lady would put her Tom

391
00:16:47,839 --> 00:16:49,560
FY in the night safe see her jewelry see

392
00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:51,279
what I mean then she'd try and get the

393
00:16:51,279 --> 00:16:54,040
porter upstairs by phoning down saying

394
00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:55,360
she got headache and would I take some

395
00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:56,720
aspirin up that's sort of thing you see

396
00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:58,920
if it was me right now meanwhile oh

397
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:00,600
beggar legs Wellings he'd come down and

398
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,440
do the saf as he oh I see then they

399
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:04,599
claim the insurance L and also of course

400
00:17:04,599 --> 00:17:05,880
they might get a backhander from the

401
00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:07,959
hotel for keep your stum and all of

402
00:17:07,959 --> 00:17:09,839
course the jewel is fake always fake

403
00:17:09,839 --> 00:17:11,959
come and have a

404
00:17:11,959 --> 00:17:14,160
look well even if it's fake they've got

405
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:16,079
to pay a very high premium but only till

406
00:17:16,079 --> 00:17:17,359
they've done the job a they that's not

407
00:17:17,359 --> 00:17:19,640
long is it it's a new name is it new

408
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:23,240
name New Town new insurance policy right

409
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:24,720
yeah look at it it's rubbish isn't it

410
00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:28,520
it's ay well well worm Wellings a h

411
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,080
looks real enough to me well of course

412
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:31,840
it does to you cuz you know na all about

413
00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:34,320
it do you that is past

414
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:38,600
me hey Fletch what this is not good you

415
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:41,160
and me excon open

416
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,240
safe no you're not wrong then put it in

417
00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:45,679
there put it in

418
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:57,840
there hello reception

419
00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:01,600
yes oh oh certainly Mrs

420
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:05,240
applebe yes nice glass of hot milk

421
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:08,000
certainly certainly yes in a Jeffy Madam

422
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,360
yes thank you what did I tell you what

423
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:11,960
did I tell you hey Fletch this is a

424
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,919
golden opportunity for you how call the

425
00:18:14,919 --> 00:18:17,640
law right they come in here Hide you

426
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:19,679
take up the op milk Wellings comes down

427
00:18:19,679 --> 00:18:21,880
does the safe they color him who's the

428
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,760
hero you are think how that will go down

429
00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:25,919
with your parole board not to mention

430
00:18:25,919 --> 00:18:27,480
the owner of the hotel it's a flaming

431
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:30,760
golden opportunity

432
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:33,080
that's despicable

433
00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:35,880
that P and you're the man who's taken up

434
00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:37,200
with my daughter

435
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:41,559
ingred I don't follow listen Sunny Jim

436
00:18:41,559 --> 00:18:43,039
you and I have had the strength to go

437
00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,880
straight right but this guy obviously

438
00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:46,880
hasn't as he so are you going to be the

439
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:48,440
one who puts him behind bars again eh

440
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:50,240
are you and what is more are you going

441
00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:51,760
to live with that on your conscience for

442
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:52,960
the rest of your life that you would a

443
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:55,360
party do it oh no no I wouldn't wish

444
00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:57,919
that on anybody of course you wouldn't

445
00:18:57,919 --> 00:18:59,760
call the Lord I'm sorry Fletch I didn't

446
00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:02,080
think it through no you never do do you

447
00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:03,320
so you can't have anything on toward

448
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:05,360
happening on your own

449
00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:08,080
doorstep no that's true that's very true

450
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:10,200
you're not in your

451
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,120
position

452
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:15,799
no so what you going to

453
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:28,120
do what's going on I'm sorry to disturb

454
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:30,720
you sir but I have no choice this is

455
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:33,200
Sergeant gobber of the

456
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,360
yard the

457
00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:37,400
yard fraud

458
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:39,600
squad for

459
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:42,559
Squad look we know your game chummy we

460
00:19:42,559 --> 00:19:44,000
know what number you've been running um

461
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,039
could you keep your voice down a bit

462
00:19:45,039 --> 00:19:46,120
sent we don't want to get the hotel a

463
00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:47,559
bad name you know what I mean I don't

464
00:19:47,559 --> 00:19:50,120
know what you're on about do you deny

465
00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:51,640
that you're worm Wellings otherwise

466
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:53,080
known as Stansfield otherwise known as

467
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:55,480
Foster they never let you forget do they

468
00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:57,880
that was years ago yeah got away with it

469
00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:59,480
on the south coast but we're a bit more

470
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,760
alert up here Sunny Jim excuse me

471
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:03,039
sergeant if there is going to be an

472
00:20:03,039 --> 00:20:04,720
arrest could it be sarup teachers like I

473
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:06,159
mean like down the far escape with a big

474
00:20:06,159 --> 00:20:07,600
bag over his head you know what I mean

475
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:10,919
I'm going straight for God's sake you

476
00:20:10,919 --> 00:20:12,640
are from now on Sunny Jim if you got any

477
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:16,559
sense but don't remember me do you

478
00:20:16,559 --> 00:20:18,840
Fletcher we was in maon together many

479
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:22,200
moons ago did you shop me then only to

480
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:23,919
him well what do you mean he's only the

481
00:20:23,919 --> 00:20:26,559
yard he is a truck

482
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:28,960
driver the only yard he knows is the one

483
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,640
he backs his Lor

484
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,880
into is this this is all a joke then no

485
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:36,320
no it's a warning if you've got anything

486
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:37,760
up here Sunny Jim you'll take eat of

487
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:39,840
this morning here you are here is your

488
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:42,120
Christmas cracker jewelry now you take

489
00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:43,760
that and you take your old lady friend

490
00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:45,640
and you leave this hotel first thing in

491
00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:48,679
the morning don't come back

492
00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:52,400
right here I've done time and all you

493
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,080
know and I'm going straight me and him

494
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,960
both now it takes a lot of courage and a

495
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:57,960
lot of bottle come on Billy Gray I'm out

496
00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,600
of it

497
00:21:11,159 --> 00:21:14,080
my word your early risers oh yeah you

498
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:17,200
see the thing is I contacted the AA and

499
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,039
they said they'd fixed the car already

500
00:21:19,039 --> 00:21:20,520
oh that's funny cuz you haven't got a

501
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:22,400
phone in your room have

502
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:25,840
you what' you do send a pigeon that's

503
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:30,520
quite but come along let's be off barel

504
00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:37,880
cheral morning Petra oh good morning Mr

505
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,360
MC late arrivals were they they were so

506
00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:41,720
yes but don't worry cash an advance up

507
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:43,559
FR that's the

508
00:21:43,559 --> 00:21:46,480
ticket ah oh yes so now I see that you

509
00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:49,360
put Mrs Apple's jewelry in the safe uh

510
00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:51,799
yes yes sir that's uh that's quite safe

511
00:21:51,799 --> 00:21:53,919
in there sir yes sir delightful old s

512
00:21:53,919 --> 00:21:57,600
been coming here for years

513
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,640
come in here for Years sir yes last

514
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:03,240
Friday every month board meeting in the

515
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:05,720
afternoon theater in the evening etc etc

516
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,880
regular as clock work always stays here

517
00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:09,640
even though she could afford clares

518
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:11,919
always leaves her jewelry in the same

519
00:22:11,919 --> 00:22:17,440
worth a bit is it sir uh about 12,000 a

520
00:22:17,559 --> 00:22:20,520
gall her husband her late husband was

521
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:21,919
appleb

522
00:22:21,919 --> 00:22:23,919
tof what's the matter Fletch are you're

523
00:22:23,919 --> 00:22:25,799
looking ill yes I feel I feel a bit

524
00:22:25,799 --> 00:22:27,679
dizzy so I feel a bit just a bit queasy

525
00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:29,559
I think I'll go look at the first a box

526
00:22:29,559 --> 00:22:31,080
see if there's anything there can uh can

527
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:33,918
help me course I'll

528
00:22:47,559 --> 00:22:50,960
just my

529
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:56,880
God would a cup of tea out Dad no no no

530
00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:58,080
I might as well just pack me a little

531
00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:00,000
bag get on the train go straight back to

532
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:03,039
Slade prison save the taxpayer the

533
00:23:03,039 --> 00:23:06,039
expense of an arrest they might believe

534
00:23:06,039 --> 00:23:08,840
you di don't be Dar ing I'm an excon and

535
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:10,600
I well you never know I mean the story

536
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,120
is so ludicrous it does have a ring of

537
00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:16,600
authenticity about it yeah and you was a

538
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:20,400
witness ly hey leave me out of it I'm an

539
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,760
EXC that's nice is it well there's no

540
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:24,000
point in both of us being falsely

541
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,320
arrested why

542
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:28,559
not now dad you got to 11: tonight

543
00:23:28,559 --> 00:23:31,080
correction correction I've got till Mrs

544
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:32,960
applebe leaves for the theater tonight

545
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,880
7:00 you got a lot of contacts I mean

546
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:38,440
you know all the bent people

547
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:40,880
around put the word about maybe one of

548
00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:42,720
them will nail worm Wellings for you you

549
00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:44,640
know and get the stuff back the stuff by

550
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:46,919
now will be in small pieces in Amsterdam

551
00:23:46,919 --> 00:23:48,440
or whatever the fences disposal the

552
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:50,240
stuff yeah I always knew it was genuine

553
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:51,559
I could tell at a glance it weren't

554
00:23:51,559 --> 00:23:53,240
paced oh you knew it wasn't paste did

555
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:54,720
you you knew it wasn't fish paste that's

556
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:56,159
about all you

557
00:23:56,159 --> 00:23:58,600
knew well it's not surprising it was was

558
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:00,000
genuine though not if you say her

559
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,039
husband was Apple Beast toffee I mean

560
00:24:02,039 --> 00:24:04,240
that's the famous brand that yeah I I

561
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:05,600
think I used to be very fond of their

562
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:07,919
weekend assortment and all that's put me

563
00:24:07,919 --> 00:24:10,240
right off Toof his for Life letters all

564
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:11,919
I'm praying is that I don't get sent to

565
00:24:11,919 --> 00:24:13,840
the same Nick that's all cuz the sight

566
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:15,440
of Mr makai's face when I walk through

567
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:18,520
that door there more than I can

568
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,840
stand did you tell him last

569
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:30,360
night what about you and me

570
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:33,559
no put off put off put off I could have

571
00:24:33,559 --> 00:24:35,000
tell him with all that going on well you

572
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,279
better tell him now can't now before

573
00:24:37,279 --> 00:24:40,679
it's too late before what's too

574
00:24:40,679 --> 00:24:43,159
late oh

575
00:24:43,159 --> 00:24:46,279
um uh ingr thought I uh I probably ought

576
00:24:46,279 --> 00:24:49,039
to tell you um this uh I know it's the

577
00:24:49,039 --> 00:24:50,279
wrong time cuz you got a lot on your

578
00:24:50,279 --> 00:24:52,720
mind but she thought i' better tell you

579
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:55,640
that we're probably uh thinking of

580
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:56,480
getting

581
00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:59,799
married oh congrat ulations I hope

582
00:24:59,799 --> 00:25:02,279
you'll both be very happy sorry I Shan

583
00:25:02,279 --> 00:25:04,120
be there to see

584
00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:08,320
it there's no need to take it like

585
00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:13,480
that hello Fletcher what are you doing

586
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:14,760
here this time of the evening can I have

587
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:16,200
a word of you sir has Mrs applebe left

588
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:18,360
for the theater yet sir no she should be

589
00:25:18,360 --> 00:25:19,640
down in minute now well could I have a

590
00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:20,720
word of you before she does it's

591
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:22,279
essentially I talk to you sir I can't

592
00:25:22,279 --> 00:25:23,880
wait just to take piure I'm right in the

593
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:24,880
middle of something I've got a plumber

594
00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:29,000
in 14 all right all right now worry

595
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,520
I got all the time in the world I have

596
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:32,840
two years

597
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:35,840
minimum

598
00:25:36,120 --> 00:25:37,960
let

599
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,840
Wellings I hoped You' be

600
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,720
here I brought you

601
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:46,480
this oh

602
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:48,919
God and the money for my

603
00:25:48,919 --> 00:25:51,120
room and my

604
00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:55,320
key oh well I have to ask you worm

605
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:57,360
why well I really have been going

606
00:25:57,360 --> 00:25:59,840
straight you see six

607
00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:01,840
years I didn't know what the hell was

608
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:04,600
going on last night but suddenly you

609
00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:05,880
anded me

610
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:08,919
Temptation and all my intentions all my

611
00:26:08,919 --> 00:26:10,919
promises to myself and to my

612
00:26:10,919 --> 00:26:13,760
family went out the window yeah much as

613
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:16,440
you did down the farest

614
00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:18,919
great yeah it hasn't been easy straight

615
00:26:18,919 --> 00:26:22,960
and narrow making do getting by just you

616
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:24,960
don't have to tell me son well I got a

617
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:29,919
fairly decent job now I sell bathroom TI

618
00:26:29,919 --> 00:26:31,440
car goes with it

619
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:34,440
expenses not much but it's

620
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:37,440
honest and you sleep at

621
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:41,120
night good evening oh good evening mrby

622
00:26:41,120 --> 00:26:43,320
I've been eing my jewelry yes I've got

623
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:45,159
it right here for you madam wasn't it

624
00:26:45,159 --> 00:26:47,320
locked up oh yes yes yes it was locked

625
00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:49,039
up yes but uh I knew it was coming down

626
00:26:49,039 --> 00:26:50,840
in a minute you see so I I got it out

627
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:53,200
for you especially there we are thank

628
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,159
you could you help me with this young

629
00:26:56,159 --> 00:26:58,799
man

630
00:26:58,799 --> 00:27:00,520
thank you so where is it tonight in

631
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:03,520
Madam I'm going to see a new play I'm

632
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:07,480
told it's rather sorted and sexually

633
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:13,440
explicit oh dear I do hope so it's 350 a

634
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:16,520
ticket now we you a cab Madam I know Mr

635
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:18,600
mcan's already seen to that thank you

636
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:21,039
all right oh by the way Fletcher last

637
00:27:21,039 --> 00:27:23,200
night I didn't get my hot milk no I'm

638
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:24,840
sorry about that Madam an emergency came

639
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:27,760
up it uh it won't happen again good

640
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:29,720
night good

641
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:32,080
oh I get it you thought ER and me was

642
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:34,159
working the old game together oh yes you

643
00:27:34,159 --> 00:27:35,720
see my point of view don't you you see

644
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:37,520
the trouble with people like us is we

645
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:40,039
think the worst in others don't we well

646
00:27:40,039 --> 00:27:44,159
you weren't far wrong 10:00 this morning

647
00:27:44,159 --> 00:27:46,000
I was around at the

648
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:50,559
fences what oh yes well listen which one

649
00:27:50,559 --> 00:27:52,159
I've been around them all today I walk

650
00:27:52,159 --> 00:27:54,320
me legs or I'm going a wink asleep Ernie

651
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:57,320
fish don't you know him Ernie fish is he

652
00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:58,559
still alive I thought he snuffed it

653
00:27:58,559 --> 00:28:00,240
years ago oh no he's still there off the

654
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:03,640
Caledonian road so was I with the

655
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:07,279
gear it scares me though how easy I

656
00:28:07,279 --> 00:28:09,399
succumbed I thought I'd kick the Abbot

657
00:28:09,399 --> 00:28:10,919
but I was like an ex-alcoholic had

658
00:28:10,919 --> 00:28:12,799
suddenly found a case of scotch dumped

659
00:28:12,799 --> 00:28:15,080
on his bed now listen son don't sell

660
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:18,120
yourself short sure you was tempted but

661
00:28:18,120 --> 00:28:19,799
you licked it didn't you as your

662
00:28:19,799 --> 00:28:21,360
presence here indicated you brought the

663
00:28:21,360 --> 00:28:23,559
stuff back didn't you hey you'll be all

664
00:28:23,559 --> 00:28:25,799
right don't worry you're an example to

665
00:28:25,799 --> 00:28:30,120
us all you are am I though what worries

666
00:28:30,120 --> 00:28:31,880
me is would I brought it back if Ernie

667
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:34,760
fish had said it was

668
00:28:36,900 --> 00:28:37,490
[Applause]

669
00:28:37,490 --> 00:28:40,730
[Music]

670
00:28:44,919 --> 00:28:49,880
genuine I'm going straight I am straight

671
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:51,559
as an

672
00:28:51,559 --> 00:28:56,120
ER I paid the price and done

673
00:28:56,120 --> 00:29:02,039
time I'm going right I am this right and

674
00:29:02,039 --> 00:29:07,810
narrow and I don't stri back to

675
00:29:07,810 --> 00:29:08,430
[Music]

676
00:29:08,430 --> 00:29:14,569
[Applause]